Sunday, October 22, 2006
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Another day has passed. Managed to do quite abit of work today. Finished a Physics O level paper and an entire Amath paper. whew. But somehow, theres this gnawing feeling that I'm still not doing enough.... Sigh.
The days draw nearer.
The hours tick past.
And still, I haven't done it.
Sigh.
How much can the human body take before it stops and says no more. How much can I take before my body refuses to do anymore work? I enjoy doing work. Especailly sciences and math. But somehow I can't drag myself to do humanities. Even though I really require the practice. Maybe its just the fact that I need someone to kick me from the back and say "Come on, you can do it!". Or maybe something out of an anime whereby a cute girl stands in the back ground going "Fighto!". I wonder, if that were to happen, would I really be able to make it? Would I be able to have the drive, the resolve to propel myself forward, to take that first step and be immersed in the subject. To be immersed in the subject and somewhat love the subject, just like how I've loved math and science so far.
Would there be someone there to encourage me?
Went studying with Ken again. We did our work. Generally alot by our standards. Had a rather fun and well-spent time at JE. Took breaks in between and chatted. Sometimes we would just sit, talk and laugh. The ideas and thoughts which run through our heads during times like these is most probably incomprehensible by most others. And that makes it fun. We'd just talk. Then we'd come up with a word. The word would then trigger some form of frequency between the two of us and we would just laugh our heads off. An example is "ecchi". If you don't know what it means, don't bother to check it out or ask around. You'd probably regret ever checking. I really enjoy being with my cousins. Being with people whom I can talk freely about everything and anything. No need for a facade to hide who you really are or the need to think and rethink about what you have said or going to say. They would understand your intentions and there would be no doubts. Having people like that is what I consider an asset. An asset so close to my heart that I feel that I would never want to lose no matter what.
Friends are likewise. Having them is good. Having close and good ones are tougher. Sticking with them, encouraging them, sharing their joys and sorrows, conforting them, is another matter. Choosing good ones is even more important. How times have passed. Four years. Much I have seen. Many lost. Few kept/remain. And it is those few which I will treasure.
I want to trust and obey. But at the same time, I want to have fun. Somehow, I feel I need to understand more too.
Please help me with my resolve in my studies, my spiritual life and my human relations.
For it is only you whom I am able to trust.
Heng Minblogged at 8:49 AM