Sunday, October 22, 2006
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Another day has passed. Managed to do quite abit of work today. Finished a Physics O level paper and an entire Amath paper. whew. But somehow, theres this gnawing feeling that I'm still not doing enough.... Sigh.
The days draw nearer.
The hours tick past.
And still, I haven't done it.
Sigh.
How much can the human body take before it stops and says no more. How much can I take before my body refuses to do anymore work? I enjoy doing work. Especailly sciences and math. But somehow I can't drag myself to do humanities. Even though I really require the practice. Maybe its just the fact that I need someone to kick me from the back and say "Come on, you can do it!". Or maybe something out of an anime whereby a cute girl stands in the back ground going "Fighto!". I wonder, if that were to happen, would I really be able to make it? Would I be able to have the drive, the resolve to propel myself forward, to take that first step and be immersed in the subject. To be immersed in the subject and somewhat love the subject, just like how I've loved math and science so far.
Would there be someone there to encourage me?
Went studying with Ken again. We did our work. Generally alot by our standards. Had a rather fun and well-spent time at JE. Took breaks in between and chatted. Sometimes we would just sit, talk and laugh. The ideas and thoughts which run through our heads during times like these is most probably incomprehensible by most others. And that makes it fun. We'd just talk. Then we'd come up with a word. The word would then trigger some form of frequency between the two of us and we would just laugh our heads off. An example is "ecchi". If you don't know what it means, don't bother to check it out or ask around. You'd probably regret ever checking. I really enjoy being with my cousins. Being with people whom I can talk freely about everything and anything. No need for a facade to hide who you really are or the need to think and rethink about what you have said or going to say. They would understand your intentions and there would be no doubts. Having people like that is what I consider an asset. An asset so close to my heart that I feel that I would never want to lose no matter what.
Friends are likewise. Having them is good. Having close and good ones are tougher. Sticking with them, encouraging them, sharing their joys and sorrows, conforting them, is another matter. Choosing good ones is even more important. How times have passed. Four years. Much I have seen. Many lost. Few kept/remain. And it is those few which I will treasure.
I want to trust and obey. But at the same time, I want to have fun. Somehow, I feel I need to understand more too.
Please help me with my resolve in my studies, my spiritual life and my human relations.
For it is only you whom I am able to trust.
Heng Minblogged at 8:49 AM
Sunday, October 15, 2006
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Whee....What a long long day today has been..... So very tired and contented.
Finished a whole chem (Crescent Girls MYE 2006) and Amath paper (ACSI Prelim 2004) today! So happy! *claps hands*
Really sat down and practiced at JE today with my good o'l cousin Ken. Well, he was doing his math with his lappy. And we made connection to the library's free wireless access! Apparently Ken was charging his phone with his lappy. What happened next was not to be expected at all..... A bearded security gurad walked over and lectured us that the library's electricity was solely for educational purposes and not for charging your phone. Well, since he took us by surprise, we were taken aback and just sat there and listened to what he had to say. Well he was staring at Ken's screen for a while (Pokemon was on) and he thought Ken was some kind of gaming expert who was doing his project there cause he didnt say anything about not being allowed to play games using the library's electricity. Well, Ken got rather pissed and started scolding him in ways which could probably cause another racial riot, in my opinion that is....... Well, at least Ken also got down to doing his work cause he did use his lappy to search up on rules on calculus and referred to a couple of my notes from Mrs Kao.
After that at 4, we decided to go to the gym to work out and stimulate the mind. Went down to the cafe and low and behold, we see our tutor. She seemed rather shocked to see us. She even pointed an accusing finger at us. "What are you two doing here! You hengmin, have O levels and Ken, exams!" and we tell her that we were studying, but she still didnt seem to believe us. So we snagged her Irish cream. Now I can finally understand why Ching En likes it so much. The taste oh man. So stong! The whammy of the coffee was simply amazing! In my opinion, it is almost as good as the Black Forest from Coffeebean. Gonna get one Irish Cream after the Os at Coffeebean =).
After bidding our tutor goodbye, we went on to the gym to work out. And boy did I realise that Fit and Trim isnt as easy as it sounds. Or maybe I'm just too out of shape..... Havent been exercising since June..... Well we did the usual stuff of cycling as warmup for ten minutes. I was unlucky to get one which had really little space for me to cycle. My knees kept hitting the handles in front of me...... Now they're all bruised *pouts* . Next came the assited chin-ups. Had a little trouble with that cause I haven't been training my arms in a while and apparently, my muscles have degenerated. Following that came the lat-row, one of my most favourite exercises. Did it for ten minutes and my arms felt really really great. The strain was just nice. Another fun exercise after that involved the legs. Somewhat like leg lifts. That was more or less all right cause I've been walking a whole lot this year. After which came more weight lifting but my arms didnt seem to be obeying me..... So tired...... Well next came a run for ten minutes. Didn't have difficulty for that. That means my body is still more or less in shape =) Then came crunches..... Whoo hoo.....nice abs here I come! Gonna continue doing crunches on a daily basis from now on. After the entire workout and cool down, my arms felt like lead.......
SO
VERY
TIRED!
Ouch....have difficulty typing now.... Anyone has ways to soothe aching muscles?
Song said to try bananas or chocolate. Trust her to know what to do =)
Listening to Ken Hirai's Love Love Love.... SUPER NICE BALLAD! WHEE HEE!
Heng Minblogged at 8:01 AM
Sunday, October 08, 2006
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Today was a really eventful and we worked out day. Finished quite a bit of work as well as did quite abit of stuff. After bible class I decided to head on down to JE to do some mugging. But sadly, I realised during worship that I had forgot to bring my calculator! So after church I chionged home to grab me calculator before heading to JE.
Once there I was able to sit for 4 hours straight and finished two A math papers! What a feat. I could have continued until one of the lady's working at the cafe asked me whether I was purchasing anything. Afraid that I would be chased out I headed on to purchase a cappucino and went on to marking my work. Whilst I was marking, I heard a familiar voice. Turning, I saw Song and her friend standing behind me......(Apparently I was wondering who the people standing behind me were. Alot of people were having difficulty finding seats and I was getting rather annoyed.) After Song got a table of her own, I managed to finish my marking and corrections and started on my SS. The next thing I knew, Song walked over and told me that she saw my cousin. I turned and true enough saw Ken wearing the same bright green shirt which he was wearing during his concert at Victoria Theatre. Well he was talking to Song for a while before bounding off. Song then told me what my dear cousin had in mind. Apparently he saw two of his schoolmates a decided to stalk them. I was literally dumbfounded.
Then for the next hour or so, I continued with my studying and kept in contact with my cousin via hp, somewhat like what one does when involved in military warfare. Well Ken was stalking them in a way similar to what Sagara would do. Taking cover behind pillars and staying in the crowd. He even crawled in the grass! Shocking as it may seem, he was even able to take a photograph of the couple showing a rather large amount of affection. Sadly, he was seen. He then approached them and asked what they were doing and they said the corniest thing ever. "We were doing Chemistry." (Chemistry a.k.a affection)
After the ordeal he headed back to the library and we had a rather good talk. Next, he suggested that we head to the gym. So I tagged along. The gym was huge! All the latest equipment! Sadly I was wearing jeans and could'nt join him in working out. So I spent my time studying for the SS test tomorrow in the gym. At the end of the gym session I was able to complete 1/3 of the entire chapter. Then followed him to Wesmall so he could stock up.
Went home after that mentally and physically tired. Took me 1 1/2 hrs to finish up the SS chapter. *Whew*
Thats all thats happened today.....Slacking now =)
Heng Minblogged at 7:38 AM
Thursday, October 05, 2006
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A flourish of emotion.
The heavy thumping of my heart.
I cry out.
This pain.
The thought of the future scares me.
Have I done my best?
Somehow, I feel that I could have done better.
Somehow, I jus have this feeling that I am the only one who has not reached his maximum potential.
I am certain that I could have done better.
Whats there left for me to do? One word: "Practice"
Has it not been stated by many that "Practice makes perfect"?
Has my efforts gone to waste? Or is it just me?
One word: "Careless". Is that just an excuse? Or is it really unforseen human error, the instance whereby one feels a surge of confidence and allows one's guard to falter and hence not noticing a mistake so simple that it makes you wonder whether to laugh or to cry.
I look around me. The faces I see. All brmming with smiles and content. Would I be one of them if I had just checked once more or even read it carefully the first time through?
Sometimes, it hits me. Is prayer enough? Yes, it is. But most of the final outcome relies on you, your frame of mind at that time and whether you are able to perform, whether you have planned and paced yourself correctly. Everything is already in your head, what comes next is whether you have enough time to put it on the paper and whether you answer the question correctly and not regurgitate everything which you have learnt.
The thoughts swim through my head. Positive and Negative alike.
I wonder, what will it be like when my best friend leaves next year?
I mean even who will I have to confide in? Even though we have computers and we are able to chat online, the feeling is totally different. Its completely different from having a listening ear and hearing someone else's conforting voice. The presence of a person also makes a whole lot of difference.
Reading the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" has also made me ponder on a whole lot of things. Death awaits all of us. We have no way to anticipate death so are we doing enough in our lives? The people around us, those we care for and those who care for us. Have we done enough to let them know what we feel about them? Are we giving enough love? Even words which we may say at the slip of the tongue may have adverse effects on what may happen in the future. I mean what if someone close to us dies and we lack the time to tell him what we feel? What if that happens to you? Will we regret? But how will regretting help?
So I have decided to take into consideration the feelings of others and tell them what I feel, or even give them a listening ear.
Time passes, picking up its pace. Its less than 4 weeks left.
The Os are coming.
Looking back at the tuition teachers which have been teaching me, my Chinese tuition with Ling Lao Shi has already ended since June. Although I didn't really enjoy doing her work, her stories about life will always be with me.
3 more lessons with Mrs Kao left. It has already been 4 years with her. I will always remember all the times I spent having tuition and listening to what fun things she had to say. Even the time during the SARS period when we had to wear those masks which covered both our noses and out mouths. Initially I felt that it was a drag. But thinking back, I feel that it was actually quite unique. Which tuition will force you to do such fun stuff? I also remember the times when a mosquito bit one of the students and she would take out her bottle of Bygone and start spraying about. There were even times when she would give chocolate to the person who killed the mosquito.
Last but definitely not the least is tuition with Song. Lessons with Song has been fun since the first lesson. Listening to all the snippets of her life in US and then linking them in many little ways to science is not something which I will forget that easily. Understanding, as she says is the most important, and she would never give up in bringing her point over to me. She is also the most hardworking of all my tuition teachers. Marking my stacks of prelim papers which I have been piling on her this entire year..... I feel kinda bad doing that..... Sorry Song! Another nice point of her is that she loves Anime! Passed her Karin and Hachimitsu no Clover. Apparently, she was enjoying Karin alot until a point of time whereby a "scene" in Winner's fantasy popped up and she she started disliking it. Fortunately she has enjoyed Hachimitsu no Clover so far. She is also the most engaging amongst all my tuition teachers. She even invited my cousin Ken and I to her youth camp last year. Had a really really fun time there and at the same time got to know a whole lot of fun people.
What fun we had.
I'm really thankful that the Lord Almighty has allowed me to know so many nice people in my life. I'm certain that I will always remember and cherish them.
Heng Minblogged at 4:08 AM